I Don't Know How To Love Him
by IntellectualBadAss
Summary: Anna doesn't know what to do about Mr. Bates. She loves him with all of her heart, yet she knows he will not admit to loving her. He finds her crying and offers her a shoulder to cry on. Anna/Bates


_**A/N- Hello, this is just a short story about Anna and Mr. Bates. I was pretty bored this afternoon and was listening to I don't know how to love him, from Jesus Christ Superstar and it reminded me of Anna and Bates, So decided to write this short fic. Just imagine that Mr. Bated wife Vera is dead- it just makes everything easier. Thank you, read and review :)**_

**DISCLAIMER- I unfortunately do not own Downton Abbey, if I did Anna and Bates would already be together.**

**I don't know how to love him**

Anna sat alone in the kitchen; everyone else had long gone to bed. Her hair was released from its usual bun and her curls cascaded down her back. She silently sobbed in confusion. All she wanted was for Mr. Bates to return her love. She understood that he was a quiet man with a troubled past. However, she couldn't understand how easily he dismisses his feelings for her. She was adamant he loved her too, he must do, if he didn't why would he care for her when she fell sick? or look at her with such admiration and love that it made her forget who she was and where she was?. How could he dismiss such love and passion? Whenever she was with him, despite how unladylike, all she wanted to do was leap into his arms and kiss him, with such love and commitment he would have to return her feelings. She just didn't know how to show him that she loved him more that life its self. Aimless tears streamed down her face, leaving blotches in their path. She never thought that when she went into service, that she would fall in love. She traded that life in when she came to Downton Abbey. Then again, she'd quit it all in a flash to be with Mr. Bates.

"Anna, what's wrong" a soft male voice called out through the darkness

"Nothing, I assure you I'm fine" She called out shakily, between sobs.

"Anna?" Mr. Bates asked again, sitting down carefully next to her.

"I'm fine" She whispered, Mr. Bates arms wrapped around her and pulled her into a tight embrace, to which she broke down again. As Anna cried into his chest, he muttered words of comfort to her and rocked her back and forth gently. He knew why she was crying. He knew he was the reason behind her tears. He knew he was hurting her but he couldn't. His past was too troubled; he was too old and defiantly not good enough. Unfortunately Anna didn't see this and had chosen him. He couldn't bear to see her in such a state and wanted to tell her flat out how he felt, but he'd only end up hurting her.

"It'll all turn out fine, you'll see" Mr. Bates said soothingly. Anna sat up, reluctantly, out of his embrace.

"Forgive me Mr. Bates but we both know that isn't true" She said fresh tears forming in her eyes. To which he brushed them away with his thumb, his fingers lingering a little too long on her face.

"You'll get over this Anna, you are a strong lady" He said emphasizing the 'lady' and the end. Anna let out a soft chuckle.

"I'm sure ladies don't break down like this, or cry their selves to sleep or fall in love with a man who could never love her back" Anna exclaimed gazing into his eyes.

"Anna, my dear, you don't understand" Mr. Bates exclaimed, trying to defend himself.

"I do understand Mr. Bates. I understand that you don't return my love and that is quite frankly killing me but I can't change it, I cannot make you fall in love with me Mr. Bates nor would I want to if I could. I am not a patch on you, sir" Anna finished with an exasperated sigh, dropping her head. Mr. Bates placed his hands on the side of her face and softly brought it back up inches away from his.

"Anna, don't you ever talk like that. You are a truly beautiful young lady, inside and out. You deserve someone who can give you everything that you deserve. Any man would be lucky to call you his" Mr. Bates finished, staring affectionately into her eyes. He watched as more tears formed in her eyes.

"But not you?" she asked hopefully. She knew she was getting her hopes up only to watch them be crashed and burned in front of her.

"You deserve a better man than me" he exclaimed dropping his hands from her face.

"There isn't one" she answered, still keeping eye contact. He was the one who didn't understand, no matter what he said or did was not going to alter the fact that she loved him with all of her heart.

"Anna I can't" He tried.

"Then tell me you don't love me," She insisted.

Silence.

"Tell me honestly that you don't love me" She repeated.

The silence carried on, he stared at the ground, unwilling to look her in the eyes, knowing that if he did he would give himself away at once. The truth was he did love her, with every inch of his being. Despite the fact it would be easier to lie; he was an honest man and stood by his morals. He felt a pair of small, soft hands creep up the side of his face to rest on his temples. His eyes flickered shut at her touch. She slowly brought his face up to hers.

"Tell me you don't love me" She whispered again, her hot breath dancing on his lips.

"I-I-I," A sudden surge of lust came over him. All he wanted was her. He didn't care about their ages or that he wasn't worthy of her. She had chosen him and that was all that counted.

"I can't" He said breathlessly. He leaned forward and captured her lips with his. Anna was slightly taken back; she'd never been kissed with such honesty and love before. The passion and intensity felt amazing. Their tongues gently met in a dance of love. They both knew that moment that nothing else in the world mattered, just each other and that was enough.  
They broke apart breathlessly. Mr. Bates smiled softly.

"I cannot tell you I don't love you because that would be a lie" Mr. Bates said breathlessly.

"I do not understand, sir" Anna said softly, she knew full well what he meant but she needed to hear him say it.

"I love you Anna" Mr. Bates said honestly staring into her eyes. He had kept himself to himself for too long, it was time to let someone in.

"I love you too Mr. Bates" She whispered happily, throwing herself into his arms.

"Call me John, Anna" He whispered into her hair.

They stood there for a while just enjoying their embrace, enjoying their new relationship and enjoying each other. John stroked her long blonde hair affectionately and tucked it gently behind her ear and softly kissed the small bit of skin that her dress exposed. She silently wished that the material around her neck would disappear to allow him further access. His kisses each sent a spark of energy through her stomach, a wonderful bullet of lust that she felt she could get use to. He brought his lips up to her ear and continued kissing her.

"We should get to bed" He whispered in-between kisses.

"Do we have to?" Anna whined, letting out a soft moan that made John chuckle.

"Yes my dear, we will never wake in the morning if not" He said lovingly.

"I guess so, but I shan't sleep, I feel so awake. I don't want this moment to end" Anna admitted childishly, causing John to chuckle again.

"I will still be here in the morning, I promise" he said sincerely. He brought his lips to hers once more, softer, more familiar. Their lips moved in unison, once again. His arms snaked around her small frame, as hers wrapped lovingly around his neck. Their kiss was full of future promises of love and passion. This was surely a night they wouldn't forget. They reluctantly pulled away and gazed into each other's eyes.

"Good night John, I love you" Anna said gently releasing herself from his embrace. The sound of his name on her lips made his heart burst with joy.

"Good night Anna, I love you. Sleep well" He said as he watched her head upstairs.

This was a new beginning for them, another chance at love for him, he had a second chance to be a good lover.

_**A/N- Just a short story :) please review :) **_


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